I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I am available for nakedness
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
