All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
