He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
