Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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