yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Someone shattered a urinal.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Randomize
