Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
