we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
