I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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