Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
