She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
