theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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