She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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