oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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