i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
is wine microwaveable?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
