Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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