meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Every concussion has its silver lining
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
