And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
