he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
