so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
