The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
