so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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