He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
