My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
