I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
