i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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