I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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