Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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