last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
