Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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