don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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