just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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