i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
