I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we're making bets on your personal life
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
