I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
whose ass print is on the piano?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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