life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
