I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize