and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
