He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
