oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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