Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
