They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
