If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
