New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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