Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
