How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
