My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
