Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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