I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
