You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
