Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
