I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
