I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
